Are you ready to start healing after your breakup but you don’t know how?
Healing takes time and you can’t rush the process, but it isn’t a passive activity. To experience true healing, you must be active in the process and you must be intentional.
Healing requires us to peer past the facade of our anger and confront what lies beneath it. Healing will require you to face yourself with honesty and ask, “What has made my heart hard for so long? What fears am I hiding? What pain am I masking?”
This is because healing requires introspection and silence. It requires us to sit with ourselves and understand what has happened to us. It requires us to remember unpleasant memories and the people who caused them and at times to confront them.
Healing Requires Work but It’s Possible
Even though healing sounds like hard work, it’s not impossible. While you cannot rush the process, you can create the space for it to happen and avoid those things that will slow it down. You can pause and take the time to stare deeply in the mirror and really see yourself and know and understand your hopes and dreams.
Healing is about being honest with yourself and being able to look into the mirror without flinching at what you see because you’ve made efforts to understand where you’ve been wounded in the past and allowed yourself to heal while taking the lessons from it.
My Experience with Healing
After the breakup of a short, but valued relationship, I remember consciously having a conversation with myself that I needed to slow down. You see, I had a pattern and a way of dealing with hurt. I knew it wasn’t hard for me to find a new guy to show me some interest. It may not have been the man of my dreams, but it was a man. Even if I knew the relationship wasn’t going anywhere, the distraction of the attention was enough to take my mind off of the hurt of the relationship.
Well, after this particular breakup, I decided that I didn’t want to fill my life and my time with randoms who didn’t have any meaning for me. I was looking for a long-term relationship that would lead to marriage so I decided that I needed to focus my attention on relationships that filled those requirements.
So, with each offer to hang out for meaningless connection that would mask my hurt, I declined. Sometimes this meant sitting in my room alone or having to confront my pain, but I realized my heart was healing in a new, uninterrupted way than it had in the past.
At this time, I became so committed to “being still” as I felt I was being guided to do in my spiritual life that moving forward with a relationship was outside of my thinking. I was healing and learning to listen to my needs instead of the urgency of my emotions.
I had created the environment to heal.
Take the First Step Towards Healing
As you find yourself in these first few moments after your breakup, wondering how to begin your journey of healing, I would recommend you create a Breakup Survival Plan. This is a way to create the environment for your heart to heal holistically. You will identify the resources you need and the support that you have and you will give yourself permission to access them when you need to.
If you’d like to learn more about what a Breakup Survival Plan is, you can check out this article: How a Breakup Survival Plan Can Help You Heal after a Breakup.