If you live on this planet and have watched any movies or TV series lately, you know as women we’re inundated with images of girls meeting “the one” and magically falling in love. The guys are always impossibly handsome with the best jobs, perfect hair and stylish clothing. From time-to-time, they have a relationship they must end in order to get with the movie’s heroine, but for the most part, everything always seems to resolve itself in the end.
And if you’re anything like me, there comes a moment in your life when you sit alone in your room and wonder, will that ever happen to me? You may have watched (or currently be watching) as friend after friend has a ring put on it and still somehow you feel alone. “Could it be that there’s a special man out there for me?” You may be wondering.
I’m still pretty new to this game. I’ve only been married for two years, but now that I can reflect on those years of my life, I realize as a society….heck! Forget about as a society. As girlfriends, sister-girls, sorority sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers and cousins, sometimes we do ourselves, as women, a disservice. We put so much pressure on ourselves and other women to find, meet, attract and capture “the one.” We dress up and go out. We hook up and link up all in hopes of meeting that special someone.
What if we’re meeting great guys all the time? What if we’re surrounded by potential matches, but somehow we’re missing them? What if our hearts aren’t prepared to meet the one? What if all this time, we’ve been focusing on the wrong thing?
I’ve found that there are four myths we believe about meeting the one, and I want to shatter them once and for all. I want to shatter the notion that we must hustle to meet the one and instead focus on preparing your heart to meet the one.
We’re busy women and life is short. Let’s not spend a second more focusing our attention and our hearts on the wrong things. Let’s replace those old wives tales with more modern, spiritual and realistic ideas
Myth #1: When two people are destined to fall in love, life will bring them together and things will work, no matter what’s in my past or what I’ve done with my heart.
Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Your heart allows entrance to your soul. While I do believe God guides the lives of people to come together and intersect at different points in their lives, when we meet people, we can attract them into our lives or push them away depending on where we are at that point in our lives. Sometimes, past relationships, hurts or abuses can keep us from being as open to love as we could be and sometimes, a good man can pass us by as a result. Even though it may appear that two people are destined to fall in love and be together. Things in our past can make us closed to love. Past hurts and abuse can make us bitter and bitter isn’t an attractive look on you. Your heart and the openness of your heart matter!
Myth #2: My relationship with God has no bearing on my heart being ready to meet the one. If we’re destined to be together, we’ll find each other and things will work out.
I agree with this statement; it’s not a myth if you’re not looking for a guy with a relationship with God. But if meeting a man who is spiritual – who has a connection with God – is a priority for you, having a strong relationship with God is key.
I remember as a kid, we used to sing this song that said,
“The Jesus in me, loves the Jesus in you, the Jesus in you, loves the Jesus in me. You’re so easy, so easy, so easy, you’re so easy to love.”
If you’re looking for a spiritual man, then He will be attracted by your spirituality. Even if you’re “destined” to be together, he may not feel as comfortable expressing his spirituality with you if you haven’t worked on strengthening your relationship with God.
Just believing that fate and destiny will do all the work for you is very fairy tale. Many things have a bearing on you finding and meeting the one.
Is your heart ready? Is your relationship with God ready?
Myth #3: There’s no such thing as getting my heart ready for love and ready to meet the one.
Our hearts are really funny and fickle things. Preparing your heart to meet the one is totally a thing! The same way you want to meet Mr. Right, the right guy is looking for Miss Right. I don’t believe Miss Right means Miss Perfect, but it does mean a woman who is confident, loves God, loves herself and has prepared herself to love someone else.
Just like you get ready in the morning, you can get your heart ready to be in a serious, committed relationship. There are things you can do to prepare yourself. There are things in your past you can deal with. There are ways you can be your best self.
Is your heart ready to meet the one?
Myth #4: I don’t need to love myself before I can invite someone else to love me. I’m sure I’ll find the right guy for me, even if I don’t have my stuff together yet.
Sister-girl! Get your stuff together. You know what this means for you more than I do. You need to love yourself way, way before you invite someone else to love you. You may not have ever said the words aloud that you don’t love yourself or worse still that you don’t like yourself, but the truth still rests beneath the surface. You know the truth, God knows the truth and though a man may not be able to put his finger on it, he’ll sense the truth. You need to have a deep sense of love and respect for yourself and confidently have your stuff together before you present yourself to the world, ready to meet the one.
BONUS: Myth #5: If I want a spiritual guy and I’m not there yet, he’ll overlook it and we’ll grow spiritually together
If you want a man who loves God, you should be a woman who loves God. No one is expecting perfection when they meet their future spouse-to-be but in order to attract the person you want, you need to be the person they want. Don’t delay progressing in your relationship with God if you expect to meet a man who loves God. In fact, don’t do it for Him at all! Do it for yourself! Do it for God! He’s waiting for you.
Now that you’ve read about the 4 (actually 5 because of the bonus) myths we believe about meeting the one, I’ve created the Christian Girl’s Guide to Prepare Her Heart to Meet the One to help you get your heart ready.
Instead of continuously tripping over society’s view of meeting the one, I would love for you to start taking the steps to have a heart that’s ready, open, smart, savvy and prepared to love.
I dated before meeting my husband, and it wasn’t until the year before meeting him that I had a real and deep spiritual encounter with God that prepared my heart to be ready and open to meet the one.
I’ve created this guide so you can avoid my mistakes and learn from my experiences.